Striking: Men have worries: either they are too fat or they have erection problems. And in both cases, the man's best piece is affected.
Noticed: Men have worries: Either they're too fat or they have erection problems. And in both cases, a man's best asset is affected. That's now a thing of the past. On the website www.wir-hel-koennen.ch, in the section «New Th
Column
Terre des hommes Martin Lanz
Let's say Reini Weber does a big mediocre ad for the SonntagsZeitung, but the carrier is less than mediocre and doesn't deliver the paper until ten in the morning.
Let's say Matthias Freuler runs a bold campaign for Brockenhaus and I get annoyed by a dusty waitress.
Let's say RufLanz makes a lively VBZ advertisement, but the streetcars are so filthy that I prefer to walk.
Let's say Ivan Scotti assures us that the "Winterthur" is the best, and as soon as I deal with it, it turns out to be stingy.
Let's assume that the Three-Lakes Region is dressing up for Expo.02, but the concierge at the Hotel Touring in Neuchâtel doesn't even know the opening hours.
Let's assume that Switzerland promotes Switzerland, but the Swiss remain Swiss and therefore prefer to keep to themselves.
Let's say you get on an airplane because the advertising says it's a safe company with comfortable planes and friendly service and on-time landings, and then a pilot takes a cigarette break at an inopportune time.
Terre des hommes. Let's assume that one day there would be no more unreliable, rude, stupid, arrogant or stupid people. There would only be advertisers! Nobody would mess up what they come up with so smoothly. And so they would advertise incessantly. And nobody would buy what they offered. Because those who fall for advertising would no longer be there. Then the advertisers would soon be gone too. Deserted la terre. And just before drying up, the very last advertiser would quickly have a clear thought: "Why didn't I apply for the budget of a coffin factory earlier? Then I'd die even richer." [email protected] Martin Lanz is a freelance copywriter and head of KRAZ in Zurich.
Business lunch
Food that doesn't bother you doesn't taste good The first thing you notice when you sit down at the table in the newly renovated Kunsthaus restaurant is a small folder that rates the vintages of a wide variety of wines. It starts in the Bordelais and ends in South Africa. A nice idea - after all, 550 crûs are stored in the cellar. The glass front promises a touch of urbanity in the mostly staid gastronomy of Zurich. But: it's not worth a visit, sorry.
Since Agnes Amberg closed her restaurant on the Pfauen, the place has been gastronomically deserted. It really doesn't always have to be Mövenpick. But the Kunsthaus, which should actually have fallen into the hands of top chef Peter Brunner, is "Mövenpick minus", as my counterpart commented on the performance from the kitchen after taking a look at the plate. There is only one point of disagreement. When he said it was "food that doesn't disturb", that's not true. It is disturbing.
The meal began with a selection of appetizers. Part of the selection came from tins and other tin cans and plastic containers. However, these antipasti are not part of the menu - there are eight main courses to choose from, each served with salad and soup. Will gladly pay extra.
You pay between 19.50 and 33 francs per main course. The soup was omitted due to the temperature, and the chef did without oil for the salad. The main course: corn-fed poulard breast with dry rice. Without sauce. Instead, the breast was served on warm pelati tomatoes. The other diner had iceberg lettuce with rabbit fillet. "Food that doesn't disturb."
Well, the 550 wine items, with an ingeniously low take-away price, that's a USP that you can put up with. But when the food never, ever keeps up with what the cellar has to offer, it becomes difficult. What's more, the service crew was hopelessly overworked. While we were eating the antipasti, interrupted by parleying, they wanted to bring the main course. Okay, that can happen, it's no big deal. But the main course was lukewarm - well, then: I would therefore like to formally apologize to Remimag Gastronomie, operator of the Kunsthaus restaurant plus various pizzerias in Lucerne and the surrounding area, for not moving fast enough with the food. And I can also assure you that I will not be applying for the vacant position of Chef de Service advertised on the Internet - I am no longer 25 years young. But one experience richer. Carlo Bernasconi [email protected]
Restaurant Kunsthaus Heimplatz 1
8001 Zurich
Tel. 01 251 53 53
Fax 01 251 67 67
No parking spaces
Evaluation Essen .......................2
Drinks ..................4
Operation ................1
Business factor ........1
5=top, 4=very good, 3=o.k., 2=naja, 1=flop
