Catching your eye: Did you know you can now eat sanitary napkins?
NoticedDid you know that you can now eat sanitary napkins? Go ahead and say "Yuck!" In the always-ultra-light age, was it really necessary to create this cheese shape and then present it so silkily to begin with? There gets
Already known that you can now also eat sanitary napkins?
Go ahead and say "Yuck!". Was it really necessary to create this cheese shape in the always-ultra-light age and then present it so silkily? You can't get a bite down, even if the cheese is so delicious. And then the headline: Lots of flavor. Little fat. A little fat is clear, but a lot of flavor? Cheese like that ... that's just too much for any sanitary napkin wearer. Gone are the days when women could move freely and carefree. The backlash has also mercilessly struck in this intimate zone and robbed women of a piece of hard-won freedom. Or can anyone else explain to me what the advantage or flash of inspiration has been in the development of this cheese? Otherwise, one is forced to believe that the always-ultra designers are now also getting involved in the Migros cheese dairy. Then the first Camembert with "wings" will probably soon be available to enjoy ... En guätäääääää! Chandra Kurt
Column Read here
By Michael Barney
The worst thing that can happen to advertising is that it goes unnoticed. If you believe PMs and marketing people, there is even worse. That they are not understood at all. Add to that the response fetishes that fear for "returns". Add to that a testing process and nothing can go wrong with awareness, benefit, USP and response. The scary thing is that if all this worked, every advertising message would be a hit. But it doesn't. Instead, posters, ads, TV spots, and brochures that have been asked to do all this look brutally dull, boring, and uninteresting. Funny? When will people finally understand that no one voluntarily looks at posters, pauses while leafing through them or cries out in front of the TV: "Hey, great, that's all I need, I absolutely have to have/buy that!" Nobody waits for what is advertised with a lot of money. Because they already have it, don't need it, or can never pay for it. No one wants to drink cola for rational reasons. Thirst would be a great USP. No Camel poster brings anyone to the kiosk. But addiction does. Tampon manufacturers rejoice once a month that women exist. If you then listen to the briefings, you wonder how such a great commercial could be created, which won in Cannes: Girl jumps into pool, gets out, pool has no more water. It couldn't be more generic. But the spot is amazing. And simple. And eye-catching. And is understood. Now I'm sorry I titled my column "Read Here" on the advice of PMs, marketing people and a testing institute. I am guaranteed that all readers of this paper would read it. Bad luck, except Ilonka, Mark, Reto, Claude, Marianne, Anita, Lukas, Frank and the beautiful Claudine, the rest - as always - read something else. And kept on turning the pages.
Michael Barney is a senior copywriter at Lowe Lintas GGK, Zurich.
Voice ObserverFrom airbag remover to dentist biter
After the hot showerers (central lockers and shower gel preheaters remember), the best list of cold showerers now follows in time for the summer vacations.
Airbag RemoverAn Cadre Seat Newspaper Reader
Assembler programmer
Neckline stiff
Highway SMS Recorder
Swimsuit Mosque Visitors
Battery-with-tongue tester
In thunderstorm pole vaulters
At-sex-intentionally-wrong-name-breather
Benzingriller
Beer with teeth opener
Appendectomy
Bongwater Drinker
Effervescent tablet swallower
Cowboy boot wearer
Cumulus card forgers
Den-Geschäftsführer-Verlanger
Domaingrabber
Wires to socket plug
Third Reminder Ignorer
Dynamite fishermen
Squirrel tormentor
Electric Fence Pincher
Email .exe opener
Ferrari scratch
Fireworks hand launcher
Filet mignon with ketchup orderer
Air show visitors
Miss pay! caller
Girlfriend buckle denominator
Toenail chewer
Headwind vomiter
Rubber doll bouncer
Cell phone on belt carrier
Suspension bridge swing
Pacemaker Overclock
Hooligan pushers
Hornet tease
Helicopter Ejection Seat Users
Dog poop kicker
Dog in microwave dryer
Hedgehog Stroker
In the elevator bouncer
In-disco Walkman listener
In face shooter
Coffee cash register robber
Cold shower
Fight dog prankster
Chainsaw juggler
Cinema farts
Church smoker
Small Change Away Schmeisser
Llama spitter
Avalanche boarders
Mass Suicide
Several-times-all-you-can-eat orderer
With-lighter-in-the-tank chandelier
Molotov cocktail launcher
Garbage-in-the-forest disposer
Niagara River rafter
North Pole Campers
Party fundraiser
Piercing cutter
Pill Swapper
PIN on card recorder
Pitbull snatcher
Meter maid starter
Discount free
Theory of relativity sceptic
Russian mafia rip-off artist
Pocket knife razor
Saharawander
Sandcastle Destroyer
Serpentine Shrike
Cut wound bostitcher
Shorts-and-Shirt Bike Rider
Sock Sniffer
Tabasco Drinker
Forest dieback advocates
Blackboard-with-fingernails-scratch
Tub hair dryer
Washbasin sprinkler
Christmas goose from castle park Holer
Rummage table nuisance
Sausage with hand turner
Dentist Biter
Beat Gloor, www.textcontrol.ch
Go ahead and say "Yuck!". Was it really necessary to create this cheese shape in the always-ultra-light age and then present it so silkily? You can't get a bite down, even if the cheese is so delicious. And then the headline: Lots of flavor. Little fat. A little fat is clear, but a lot of flavor? Cheese like that ... that's just too much for any sanitary napkin wearer. Gone are the days when women could move freely and carefree. The backlash has also mercilessly struck in this intimate zone and robbed women of a piece of hard-won freedom. Or can anyone else explain to me what the advantage or flash of inspiration has been in the development of this cheese? Otherwise, one is forced to believe that the always-ultra designers are now also getting involved in the Migros cheese dairy. Then the first Camembert with "wings" will probably soon be available to enjoy ... En guätäääääää! Chandra Kurt
Column Read here
By Michael Barney
The worst thing that can happen to advertising is that it goes unnoticed. If you believe PMs and marketing people, there is even worse. That they are not understood at all. Add to that the response fetishes that fear for "returns". Add to that a testing process and nothing can go wrong with awareness, benefit, USP and response. The scary thing is that if all this worked, every advertising message would be a hit. But it doesn't. Instead, posters, ads, TV spots, and brochures that have been asked to do all this look brutally dull, boring, and uninteresting. Funny? When will people finally understand that no one voluntarily looks at posters, pauses while leafing through them or cries out in front of the TV: "Hey, great, that's all I need, I absolutely have to have/buy that!" Nobody waits for what is advertised with a lot of money. Because they already have it, don't need it, or can never pay for it. No one wants to drink cola for rational reasons. Thirst would be a great USP. No Camel poster brings anyone to the kiosk. But addiction does. Tampon manufacturers rejoice once a month that women exist. If you then listen to the briefings, you wonder how such a great commercial could be created, which won in Cannes: Girl jumps into pool, gets out, pool has no more water. It couldn't be more generic. But the spot is amazing. And simple. And eye-catching. And is understood. Now I'm sorry I titled my column "Read Here" on the advice of PMs, marketing people and a testing institute. I am guaranteed that all readers of this paper would read it. Bad luck, except Ilonka, Mark, Reto, Claude, Marianne, Anita, Lukas, Frank and the beautiful Claudine, the rest - as always - read something else. And kept on turning the pages.
Michael Barney is a senior copywriter at Lowe Lintas GGK, Zurich.
Voice ObserverFrom airbag remover to dentist biter
After the hot showerers (central lockers and shower gel preheaters remember), the best list of cold showerers now follows in time for the summer vacations.
Airbag RemoverAn Cadre Seat Newspaper Reader
Assembler programmer
Neckline stiff
Highway SMS Recorder
Swimsuit Mosque Visitors
Battery-with-tongue tester
In thunderstorm pole vaulters
At-sex-intentionally-wrong-name-breather
Benzingriller
Beer with teeth opener
Appendectomy
Bongwater Drinker
Effervescent tablet swallower
Cowboy boot wearer
Cumulus card forgers
Den-Geschäftsführer-Verlanger
Domaingrabber
Wires to socket plug
Third Reminder Ignorer
Dynamite fishermen
Squirrel tormentor
Electric Fence Pincher
Email .exe opener
Ferrari scratch
Fireworks hand launcher
Filet mignon with ketchup orderer
Air show visitors
Miss pay! caller
Girlfriend buckle denominator
Toenail chewer
Headwind vomiter
Rubber doll bouncer
Cell phone on belt carrier
Suspension bridge swing
Pacemaker Overclock
Hooligan pushers
Hornet tease
Helicopter Ejection Seat Users
Dog poop kicker
Dog in microwave dryer
Hedgehog Stroker
In the elevator bouncer
In-disco Walkman listener
In face shooter
Coffee cash register robber
Cold shower
Fight dog prankster
Chainsaw juggler
Cinema farts
Church smoker
Small Change Away Schmeisser
Llama spitter
Avalanche boarders
Mass Suicide
Several-times-all-you-can-eat orderer
With-lighter-in-the-tank chandelier
Molotov cocktail launcher
Garbage-in-the-forest disposer
Niagara River rafter
North Pole Campers
Party fundraiser
Piercing cutter
Pill Swapper
PIN on card recorder
Pitbull snatcher
Meter maid starter
Discount free
Theory of relativity sceptic
Russian mafia rip-off artist
Pocket knife razor
Saharawander
Sandcastle Destroyer
Serpentine Shrike
Cut wound bostitcher
Shorts-and-Shirt Bike Rider
Sock Sniffer
Tabasco Drinker
Forest dieback advocates
Blackboard-with-fingernails-scratch
Tub hair dryer
Washbasin sprinkler
Christmas goose from castle park Holer
Rummage table nuisance
Sausage with hand turner
Dentist Biter
Beat Gloor, www.textcontrol.ch
