A tooth gap is waiting for you
"Werbewoche" editor Anne-Friederike Wilhelm on the frustration of being greeted by ridiculous posters after the holidays.
I have seen whales. Deer at close range, cariboos, otters and sea lions. And a young bear. I saw the Rockies, covered in snow, deep gorges, raging waterfalls and the vast ocean. And I was looking forward to being home again. Back in Zurich, brutally jetlagged, I see: advertising. "Someone is waiting for you", claims heart matchmaker Parship. Blimey, am I too late again?
The person, a wannabe dentist or unsuccessful young entrepreneur, smiles at me so smugly and kindly from the wine-red poster that I get all dizzy and the greasy airplane muffin comes back. If there's anything worse than all the turbulence put together, it's this. In the arrivals hall, an I-could-be-the-successful-beautiful-and-rich-woman-at-your-side lady grins down at me. Relieved, I realize that I'm not meant to be - and firmly grasp the hand of my loved one.
But the suffering is not over yet. "Foreigners? Vote!" I read on the next attempt to spread a message. Are foreigners now allowed to vote in Switzerland? Thanks to the SVP? Got it through in just three weeks? The next morning it dawns on me that this red, white and black poster is just further proof that SVP supporters travel from Obwalden and Nidwalden to the big wide world at least once in their lives
should. Or at least from Obwalden to Nidwalden or from Nidwalden to Obwalden. Then they would realize that everyone is a foreigner. Almost everywhere. And often in the neighboring canton.
Welcome back
A day later, the GMX mailbox: Alongside a number of spam messages, a toothy blonde smiles at me from an advertising button. Contrary to what I first thought, she wasn't advertising for the "Dentist in Germany" (another stupid ad that's plastered all over streetcars), but for a Pantene Pro-V shampoo. Only on second glance do I realize that Lotte has really pretty hair - at least compared to her teeth. And then you can also take part in a hair swing contest. That's great. I try it straight away and strain my economy class tense neck. Oh great. Welcome back!
My God, advertisers, can't you really think of a subject that doesn't make me want to go away again after the vacations? Think of the poor people who have to look at your posters and advertisements. Yes, there: Hotelplan has made it very easy for itself with its palm beach photo, but at least the message is right: "75 years of vacations". I could really do with that now. Or I could just go back to Bern in between. Because of the bears.
The person, a wannabe dentist or unsuccessful young entrepreneur, smiles at me so smugly and kindly from the wine-red poster that I get all dizzy and the greasy airplane muffin comes back. If there's anything worse than all the turbulence put together, it's this. In the arrivals hall, an I-could-be-the-successful-beautiful-and-rich-woman-at-your-side lady grins down at me. Relieved, I realize that I'm not meant to be - and firmly grasp the hand of my loved one.
But the suffering is not over yet. "Foreigners? Vote!" I read on the next attempt to spread a message. Are foreigners now allowed to vote in Switzerland? Thanks to the SVP? Got it through in just three weeks? The next morning it dawns on me that this red, white and black poster is just further proof that SVP supporters travel from Obwalden and Nidwalden to the big wide world at least once in their lives
should. Or at least from Obwalden to Nidwalden or from Nidwalden to Obwalden. Then they would realize that everyone is a foreigner. Almost everywhere. And often in the neighboring canton.
Welcome back
A day later, the GMX mailbox: Alongside a number of spam messages, a toothy blonde smiles at me from an advertising button. Contrary to what I first thought, she wasn't advertising for the "Dentist in Germany" (another stupid ad that's plastered all over streetcars), but for a Pantene Pro-V shampoo. Only on second glance do I realize that Lotte has really pretty hair - at least compared to her teeth. And then you can also take part in a hair swing contest. That's great. I try it straight away and strain my economy class tense neck. Oh great. Welcome back!
My God, advertisers, can't you really think of a subject that doesn't make me want to go away again after the vacations? Think of the poor people who have to look at your posters and advertisements. Yes, there: Hotelplan has made it very easy for itself with its palm beach photo, but at least the message is right: "75 years of vacations". I could really do with that now. Or I could just go back to Bern in between. Because of the bears.
