Skewered: The horror has a name: ÖV

Do you like riding the streetcar? Or the bus? If I'm completely honest: I HATE public transport. Not because I'm annoyed by the Cobratram, which squeaks and rumbles more than the old high-floor vehicles. At least I know it's still running. Not because it always takes me longer to get to my destination than expected. Not because I usually can't get a seat. And not because no one helps me because I can't manage the three little steps up to rolling happiness alone with the baby carriage on my index finger. I hate riding the streetcar because of the passengers. I understand that people think: "Well, she'll manage with her baby carriage. I carry my notebook myself." It's every man for himself. But what's worse are the grumpy faces of the passengers. They must have had a terrible experience just before boarding. Perhaps their dear mother-in-law was shot over by a crazed neighbor five minutes before the streetcar left. Or has canceled the inheritance. Otherwise you don't look like that.

Yuck, a fellow human being

Be that as it may, can you imagine striking up a conversation with another passenger on the streetcar? If a community of suffering forms, à la "I'll help you get on with your trolley/suitcase/ballast of life" or "I'll let you have my seat", then perhaps. But the basic rule is: talk as much as necessary, as little as possible. Like the other day on the bus: an old lady with a seat approached another old lady without a seat. She said: "Tell me how old you are. If you're older than me, I'll get up and let you sit down. I'm 87 though!" She laughed and was pleased with her cheeky idea. The other one replied: "You're probably too well out of bed today," and turned away. Pure public transport. Everyone hates that the bus doesn't just run for them. And now I think so too.

Anti-single streetcar

But now VBZ is thinking "make love not war" and jumping into the ring as a matchmaker. There are also people in Zurich who occasionally smile on the streetcar or look up from their cell phone. And sometimes even look at someone else. Once something so outrageous has happened, you usually have to get off the tram and only think afterwards: I wish I'd said something! That's why there is now a singles streetcar, which is actually an anti-singles streetcar. Because you are supposed to "find the nice lady, the nice gentleman from the other day on the streetcar. Finally get to know the people you see every day on the streetcar, on the bus or at a stop." Oh my goodness. Just one ride with them is enough for me!

But the VBZ remain honest. A look, a smile, maybe the love of your life ..." In Zurich's public transport system, the slogan is: "Zoe ruffles Zlatan" or "Ivo impresses Ines". Apparently the creators of the campaign, the agency at the airport, have not had good experiences with buses and streetcars either. Otherwise the tone of the slogans would probably have been less rude. For the wimps, "Tina meets Tobi" and "Katja cuddles Knut" were quickly formulated - but nobody is really interested in the cuddlers and snugglers. VBZ Head of Marketing Communications Alain Kohler doesn't mince his words either: "In the cramped Cobratram, you're bound to get close to each other quickly." What would otherwise be a nuisance is for once an advantage. The main thing is that things move quickly and the output is right. Is Mr. Steinbrück around here somewhere?

Incidentally, you pay 25 francs on the single streetcar for the human contact shortly before the wedgie and the imposing behavior up to the "Bläuele", which is normally free on the bus or streetcar. It was not possible to find out whether you also have the chance to get off in between for a small extra charge.