Family Milestone Achievement

Did you also get it at the end of last year, the new plague? Friends and Family Milestone Achievements, or FFMAs for short, have been sent around en masse of late. FFMAs are somewhat embarrassing accounts of private to far-too-private annual "success" that sometimes drag things out into the open that would have been better kept hidden, or celebrate actually honorable daily activities to the point of ridiculousness.

We received several unsolicited private balance sheets. They either landed in the analog mailbox, printed out, overwritten with "Dear family and friends" and signed by hand, or in a somewhat more personal ( ! ) version in the e-mail box ( ! ), because here, after all, we were addressed by our name. FFMAs are preferably sent by cousins long thought to have disappeared, or by colleagues from whom nothing had been heard for some time - and who now counter the information deficit, which is not at all lamented, with a deplorable information offensive.

A small sample from the private casket: "... 2016 was our year of quantum leaps: I * now teach 1st grade, Klaus * can already write his name and Luisa * goes to Häfeli alone ..." Or how about this: a family of seven reports, "We * won the family cup in 24-hour swimming in 2016 ..." - A feat when you arrive at the event with a fully occupied minibus!

FFMA are inspired by the laudatory annual balance sheets of large listed companies - except that these have to disclose their accounts by law and usually offer something tangible in addition to gobbledygook. Private companies should be forbidden to do the same by law, or at least be able to refuse this unwanted advertising for family matters by sticking it to their (e-)mailboxes. Ever heard of negative advertising?

I forced myself to read through all the letters from front to back, despite the hair on the back of my neck standing on end. I was looking for an answer to the question of where the urge comes from to share the daily grind with "family and friends" via chain letter highlights, garnished with a family selfie. Sure, everyone takes stock at the end of the year, at least a little bit. But not on the big stage! It's so embarrassing that you can't even laugh about it - not even after three Cüpli. What a waste of time, writing and especially reading. Should I be happy for my acquaintances, become envious, aspire to the same? What is the intention of the FFMA text? And who started sending them around?

While tracking, I stumbled across the fact that FFMA are sent out by people around 40 or above. Perhaps the private accounts are an attempt to mimic the "public" generations X, Y and Z publicizing, with style. But not every letter automatically has it.

I think I'll try the begging letter variant at the end of 2017: "2017 was a tough year: we had to run the washing machine 330 times, then hang up laundry. Ironing, putting out the advertising week, and shuttling our boys back and forth has been pretty draining - please deposit a reasonably large amount into the following account ..."

Dear we continue to be about you in 2017: I wish you a year full of happiness, confidence and serenity - with or without 24-hour swimming.

* Names known to the editors.

Anne-Friederike Heinrich, Editor-in-Chief

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