Spiked: Carpe Diem

Frost lies on meadows and fields like powdered sugar. Crows in black feather coats strut up and down, cawing. Despite the veil of mist, the sun's rays are enough to lure the first primroses out of the ground. They are harbingers of spring in the middle of January. While nature is just waiting to be kissed awake and mobilize all its juices for a new life cycle, people are in an end-time mood. The pretty scenery outside our windows cannot hide the fact that the world will end in around 336 days. Even if you don't believe in the ominous end of the Mayan calendar, the harbingers of doom are here. The World Bank warns of a "global crash on both sides of the Atlantic". Words that bring back memories of Emmerich's city-devouring moat. The global economy is plunging into nirvana and Switzerland, of all countries, is without a National Bank president. Is Christoph Blocher an apocalyptic horseman? But the decline of the civilized world is not only evident in the economy in the first month of the year. The International Ski Federation has to deal with the nature of women's underwear and RTL shows for the umpteenth time the struggle for survival of C-list celebrities in the Australian jungle. There really isn't much hope left for people.

Final marketing

So what should we do with the rest of our time? I'm in favor of the Unilever strategy: "Let's make the best of it." Let's try to make some money before the end. Here's how it works: Take an existing brand, create a new fragrance, give the mixture the resounding name "2012 Final Edition", produce a commercial and it's gone, the end-time depression. There is hardly a consumer good that could not be marketed with the end of the world: A pair of jeans called "Final Cut", a new food line called "Final Food", a bar called "Final Destination". The drinks would then have names such as "Sweet Death", "Slow Death" or, for the very brave, "Agonizing Death". But you could actually go one step further. Every company only plans and budgets up to December 21, 2012 - no provisions, no savings. We can't take anything with us when we leave this world anyway - except for the followers of Fiat Lux who have ordered a spaceship in good time. For everyone else, the near end offers a huge opportunity. After all, the tree outside our window isn't thinking about cutting back its flower production this year because the Muotatal weatherman has predicted a cold snap for the beginning of May. Just like that. Carpe diem. And if someone had already invented the smartphone in the year 600, 2012 would have been a year like any other. Good luck!