Skewered: What a curd

Do you know Saskia? If not: Be glad! Because Saskia is a stupid name. Besides, Saskia is a Körnlipickerin and she is German - what actually the name should already say, but does not. Saskia is also proof that advertising that chums up and works too hard with clichés can backfire. What is it all about? Precisely, about Saskia.

Have you seen the new Migros campaign? A very graying woman in her mid-forties with horse teeth "likes 'Zmörgele'" (that's what it says!). But wait with the laughter, it comes now even worse: Saskia likes namely "Zmörgele with real spelt quark bread. That's now also available at Migros." Aha, so it's not just in Germany. That would be mean, too. "For Saskia and everyone who likes it." So, now you can laugh. But first, thank you, dear Migros and dear visu'l, agency for identity and communication, who are responsible for this failure. I as a German feel not only (v)recognized, but also accepted, with all my quirks, especially with the biggest one: "We Germans" eat dark bread. And MY spelt quark bread is now also available here, in my new home, in MY Migros. Introduced by customer request. You are so good to us!!! But be careful: Not only to us. Because the bread is "for Saskia and all who like". So share it! Germans can still learn something. The fact that this sentence is, by the way, a linguistic rust nail in the foot, we want to overlook.

Being German goes through the stomach

Honestly: In my entire 31 years in Germany, I have never seen a spelt quark bread, let alone eaten one. Even though I can't deny my passion for dark bread (my husband refers to it as pumpernickel without a clue). In addition, I would not identify Saskia as a typical German name with the best will in the world. Let it be Ute, Kerstin or even Friederike - but certainly not Saskia. And the lady on the subject reminds me somehow of Linda de Mol, even if she really is a German. But what does a typical German or a typical German look like? Exactly, that's what's wrong with the whole approach. According to Migros and their agency, however, there are definitely characteristics that all Germans share: stupid grins, bad hairstyle and/or hair color, unwavering good humor and a penchant for the products of their "homeland". At least, that's what this stupid campaign suggests.

To make matters worse, there is not only Saskia with her spelt quark bread (she also has dumplings in her assortment), but also Hilda with her Spreewald gherkins, Norbert with his Duplo chocolate pralines ("the longest praline in the world" was a publicity stunt, not a product name) and Uwe with his lentil stew. Everybody gets what he deserves. Sorry. What he loves. At least at Migros. If I am not completely mistaken in my compatriots who have made it to Switzerland and my Swiss colleagues, they will give a wide berth precisely to the "typically German" products marked with the German flag. At best, the Germans will ask their Swiss spouse to buy such a bread quite inconspicuously - simply to see whether the Swiss can really bake dark bread. Or how Spreewald gherkins from the Aargau taste. And the Swiss immediately look for a detour as soon as they see the German flag. Yes, I can hear it already: You only meant well and we are so ungrateful. Again. I would say: You did the job badly. From a German and Swiss point of view. You could have asked someone who knows about it. After all, there are enough Germans in Switzerland. Even every day in the Migros. You would certainly have found someone who would have revealed to you that you're really barking up the wrong tree with this campaign.