Spiked: Typology of the post

Because I hadn't been accessing Facebook via the app for a long time, but using the normal web browser on my iPad, I missed out on a lot. My iPhone is set to silent at night, but my iPad is usually not. I realized this when I was alerted at three in the morning by an extremely unpleasant plinggg that one of my Facebook friends had posted something. But it didn't stop at that one post. Far from it! Within minutes, it plingggged and sleep was out of the question. Within half an hour, the lovely guy had posted around twenty photos, links and videos and shared a number of other people's posts. The next night, I took the precaution of setting my iPad to silent. Lo and behold, the next morning there was another similarly long list of his posts. This gave me the idea of typologizing my Facebook friends. Not necessarily according to the time of their posts (which would also be interesting!), but according to the content. I find the result exciting and my friends are probably not that different from other friends.

There are the shy ones, the inconspicuous ones and the withdrawn ones. They post little to nothing, maybe press a Like-it button once in a while, but otherwise keep quiet. Apart from their ten-year-old passport photo, they don't have any pictures on their page.

The frequent posters can be divided into different groups. There are the serious ones. They want to spread their opinions. They post their comments on current problems. Sometimes interesting, but often lengthy.

One subgroup are the conviction posters. Just as you can always guess at the beginning of the week which direction the Weltwoche cover story will take, you know who will respond to which topics and what the tone of the comments will be. Then there are the wafflers. They don't post much, but they love to comment. They are at their best when they can write another comment in response to a counter-comment to their comment.

Another group are the picture fetishists. They will post practically anything. The topic doesn't really matter. The pictures have to be posted. In the rarest of cases, they are their own pictures, but most of the time they are photoshopped. A subgroup are the picture aesthetes. They post their own pictures, usually of high quality. It's a bit like a slide show in the sixties.

The fun-oriented ones are special. They are rarely concerned with their own content, the main thing is that it is funny. In most cases, the humor is of the thigh-slapping type.

The special interest posters are completely different. Only things that have to do with a specific subject area are posted there. Be it rock music from the 80s, football, recipes or bizarre verses. The breadth of the range is small, but the depth of the range is almost unfathomable.

The self-promoters are amusing. Whether it's a long journey, sporting success or participation in prestigious events: You were there and you let the world know.

And then there are the normal people. They post what they think their friends are really interested in.