Bullshit is the trend
"Werbewoche" editor Anne-Friederike Wilhelm on trends and diplomatic crises.
At the end of 2009, the London-based trend consulting agency Trendwatching.com revealed the quirks and trends we’ll be facing this year. Not all of them come as a surprise: «Urbany,» for example—the increasing urbanization—doesn’t strike me as a truly new trend. For quite some time now, you’ve been able to smell perfume in the countryside—and, every now and then, a whiff of country air in the city. Especially when the Mr. Switzerland recruiters are out and about. «(F)luxury» isn’t new either. Status symbols haven’t been clearly defined just this year—everyone decides for themselves what luxury means to them. Still, diamonds or an old Porsche always have their appeal.
With the vague buzzword «Maturalism,» the agency describes the trend toward bluntness. «Anything goes—as long as you like it.» A more accurate statement would be: Anything goes—even if you don’t like it. Even skin-tight rubber pants in public spaces. They are, in fact, a trend—a decidedly hideous one. «If anything goes, which brands will be daring this year?» the agency poses as a creative challenge. Let’s ask the Mazda beauties Li and Sing. Maybe they have some advice.
Spending Money Pragmatically
In addition, trendwatching.com identifies «Embedded Generosity» as a new trend (note the trendy choice of words!). According to the agency, generosity is becoming more pragmatic. Do you sense any generosity anywhere? Certainly not in our paychecks—that much is clear. Maybe we’ll donate to Haiti, in memory of that great vacation in 2004. But the homeless guy on the corner can go jump in a lake, whether he’s «embedded» or not. «Eco-Easy» is another trendy pipe dream: According to trendwatching.com, companies and governments will force consumers to act more environmentally consciously in 2010. Roaaaaarrrrrrrrrr. After the stunning successes of Kyoto and Copenhagen, I’m really starting to get scared.
Much more exciting are the trends currently emerging in Switzerland. Take «Anrempling,» for example. It’s «in» to no longer avoid people coming toward you, but instead to head straight for a collision. Chin up, eyes straight ahead—you move out of the way, *bump*. A tip: Never sit in the back right seat of a bus. Otherwise, you’ll have to squeeze past the spread-eagled legs of the young snob sitting next to you with all your might. Which brings us to the next trend: «Dummdreisting.» The truly stupid are becoming more numerous and louder, while the smart and sensitive are backing away faster and faster. They simply have no desire for confrontation or conflict. Or for a knife between their ribs. That’s why they no longer dare to venture into Zurich’s Langstrasse on Saturdays. It’s a tragedy.
The Courage to Be Yourself
But, as someone who’s almost half-Swiss, I can say this: that’s, of course, typically Swiss. Instead of setting boundaries, people rely on «giving in.» Because it takes courage to «just be myself.» Take the case of Gaddafi. When the Libyan dictator rattles his saber, Switzerland would rather send one of its own citizens to be tortured than bang its fist on the table even once. «But Gaddafi was trying to storm the Swiss embassy, wasn’t he?» Oh, I see, oh well, then. Sometimes it would be nice to be an American citizen, wouldn’t it, Mr. Göldi? Barack would have sent his Terminator long ago. But maybe the dictator is prone to «embedded generosity.» After all, it’s mega trendy right now.
With the vague buzzword «Maturalism,» the agency describes the trend toward bluntness. «Anything goes—as long as you like it.» A more accurate statement would be: Anything goes—even if you don’t like it. Even skin-tight rubber pants in public spaces. They are, in fact, a trend—a decidedly hideous one. «If anything goes, which brands will be daring this year?» the agency poses as a creative challenge. Let’s ask the Mazda beauties Li and Sing. Maybe they have some advice.
Spending Money Pragmatically
In addition, trendwatching.com identifies «Embedded Generosity» as a new trend (note the trendy choice of words!). According to the agency, generosity is becoming more pragmatic. Do you sense any generosity anywhere? Certainly not in our paychecks—that much is clear. Maybe we’ll donate to Haiti, in memory of that great vacation in 2004. But the homeless guy on the corner can go jump in a lake, whether he’s «embedded» or not. «Eco-Easy» is another trendy pipe dream: According to trendwatching.com, companies and governments will force consumers to act more environmentally consciously in 2010. Roaaaaarrrrrrrrrr. After the stunning successes of Kyoto and Copenhagen, I’m really starting to get scared.
Much more exciting are the trends currently emerging in Switzerland. Take «Anrempling,» for example. It’s «in» to no longer avoid people coming toward you, but instead to head straight for a collision. Chin up, eyes straight ahead—you move out of the way, *bump*. A tip: Never sit in the back right seat of a bus. Otherwise, you’ll have to squeeze past the spread-eagled legs of the young snob sitting next to you with all your might. Which brings us to the next trend: «Dummdreisting.» The truly stupid are becoming more numerous and louder, while the smart and sensitive are backing away faster and faster. They simply have no desire for confrontation or conflict. Or for a knife between their ribs. That’s why they no longer dare to venture into Zurich’s Langstrasse on Saturdays. It’s a tragedy.
The Courage to Be Yourself
But, as someone who’s almost half-Swiss, I can say this: that’s, of course, typically Swiss. Instead of setting boundaries, people rely on «giving in.» Because it takes courage to «just be myself.» Take the case of Gaddafi. When the Libyan dictator rattles his saber, Switzerland would rather send one of its own citizens to be tortured than bang its fist on the table even once. «But Gaddafi was trying to storm the Swiss embassy, wasn’t he?» Oh, I see, oh well, then. Sometimes it would be nice to be an American citizen, wouldn’t it, Mr. Göldi? Barack would have sent his Terminator long ago. But maybe the dictator is prone to «embedded generosity.» After all, it’s mega trendy right now.
