No more down feathers!

 
Column: How can unsuspecting advertisers protect themselves from cheap TV production companies? The cautionary ad is airing on Tele Züri. «Hello—my name is Fischer from the Fischer Bedding Factory in Wädenswil.» That’s how a TV commercial in a class of its own begins. Unfortunately, we’re not in the A-class here, but rather somewhere between D and Z. In 30 seconds, we see a company profile that makes some viewers turn away in embarrassment and head for the fridge instead. You can practically feel the company boss’s awkwardness. On the other hand, we think we can sense his nervousness. Because Mr. Fischer exudes that typical «Hooray—I’m on TV!» vibe. When you run into advertisers and PR people, a unanimous «terrible» or «embarrassing» echoes through the room. We never want to see commercials like this again. A small budget doesn’t mean they have to be uninspired. This production does have one advantage, though: People remember it particularly well—because the commercial is annoying. The downside: What’s annoying gets avoided. On TV, these expensive advertising seconds are a clear reason to change the channel.
So what do viewers expect? A good commercial should be surprising and engaging. It should be informative and entertaining—and perhaps even elicit a laugh from the viewer (and potential customer). If the commercial is intended to be deliberately annoying, producers would do well to look to the UK or Scandinavia. There, great commercials are aired daily that are either unbeatable in their wickedness or have viewers rolling on the floor laughing.
But how do you protect an unsuspecting customer from an amateurish producer? For example, by having the broadcaster take direct charge of the commercial’s production. Or, if the broadcaster is considering outsourcing, the production company would need to be thoroughly vetted beforehand. The writing of the advertising message should also be left to professionals. In the case of poor Mr. Fischer, did the copywriter either have a really bad day, or did Mr. Fischer write the copy himself? «You can watch firsthand how feathers from dead animals are used for your new duvet.» «Feathers from dead animals»?? Help! Alarm bells ringing in the copywriter’s head! Someone was trying to cut corners a little too much. The point was actually to convey to viewers that the company doesn’t pluck geese while they’re still alive to get those fluffy feathers.
By the way: If any advertising agency wants to take on this Fischer company, please don’t forget about the website. It shows why this commercial turned out the way it did. Once again, they cut corners in the wrong place. I’d recommend that Tele Züri stop embarrassing poor Mr. Fischer and shoot a new commercial for him at no cost. After all, this one has been airing for several months now. So Mr. Fischer seems to be a good advertising client.
This is just one example. You can find low-budget commercials like this on all regional stations. It gets even worse when the client’s wife does the voice-over for the commercial. As a professional, I’m sure you can think of one or two examples right now.
Just like in Hollywood movies, a column should end on a positive note. So here’s another good example of «budget TV commercials»: Kenny’s Autocenter. The entrepreneur has a fair amount of acting talent, sells beautiful cars, and has spared no expense on the store’s design. He also appears in the commercial himself, but comes across as more professional right away.
My tip for all retro commercial fans: www.tesa.de. There, you can see how creative commercials were made on a shoestring budget.
 
Karin Müller runs her own communications firm in Zurich.