When the digital third party in the partnership is annoying
According to a study, in one out of every three relationships, one partner sometimes feels neglected because of the other’s excessive use of a cell phone or smartphone. For another 5 percent, this is even a frequent occurrence.
It's true that most couples have designated digital quiet times - especially at mealtimes and in the bedroom. But for a third of couples, the digital companion has unrestricted access to all areas of life. This was the result of a representative survey conducted by online dating agency ElitePartner among 973 Swiss people aged between 18 and 69 who are in a relationship and own a cell phone/smartphone.
For many people, vacation time is meant to be time together as a couple. But there is often a third party in between - a cell phone or smartphone. Only one in nine men and one in six women do without their faithful companion during the vacations.
However, cell phone use is not only an issue for couples during the vacation season, but also in normal everyday life: 38% of women and 29% of men state that they sometimes feel neglected due to their partner's intensive cell phone use. For a further 5% of men and women, this is even often the case. Younger people in particular have the feeling that they have to take a back seat when it comes to paying attention to their smartphone: Around half of respondents under the age of 40 are frustrated by this.
Two out of three couples consciously choose digital abstinence times
To limit the influence of the digital companion, most couples have consciously agreed on digital-free times without the internet and cell phone. Cell phones are most frequently banned during meals (47%) and from the bedroom (38%). In addition to vacations (14%), some also put their phones away during their time with the children or in the evening (12% and 10% respectively). However, one in three people always have their cell phone or Internet within reach.
Psychologist Lisa Fischbach comments: "The more ubiquitous digital communication and constant accessibility become, the more important it is to control how we use it and regulate the dose. Couples should create much more space for direct conversation with each other instead of communicating virtually side by side. Because in everyday life, especially in families, there is often too little real exchange about the sensitivities and inner lives of both partners. Being offline can create quality time and in most cases you don't miss anything in the virtual world."
But the French have a better grip on rest periods
French-speaking Swiss use their cell phones more intensively than German-speaking Swiss. Accordingly, French-speaking Swiss also feel neglected by their partners slightly more often because of their cell phones than German-speaking Swiss (45 vs. 36 percent). This may also be one reason why they insist more strictly on digital-free zones: Especially when eating out and on vacation, the French-speaking Swiss pay even more attention to digital peace and quiet than the German-speaking Swiss. As a result, only one in four French-speaking Swiss have their cell phone with them everywhere, compared to one in three German-speaking Swiss.
Be accessible and don't miss anything
More than half of those surveyed want to be reachable for family and friends in their free time and use their cell phone mainly for private purposes. However, men in particular also want to be reachable for work; almost one in five deliberately have the device with them (women: 12%). Another reason for not letting go of the cell phone is the desire not to miss anything on social networks and to be able to upload photos there at will.
Younger people in particular are well aware that their constant digital companion is omnipresent. For example, around one in four people under the age of 40 resolve to use their cell phone less - but by their own admission, mostly unsuccessfully.
About the study
The study was conducted on behalf of the online dating agency ElitePartner by the digital market and research institute Marketagent.com. In December 2017, the institute conducted online interviews with 1510 Swiss men and women aged between 18 and 69. Of these, 973 live in a partnership and both partners own a cell phone or smartphone. The results are representative of the Swiss population as a whole.
