Lucrative eavesdropping
The solution to skyrocketing printing and shipping costs has been found: Struggling newspapers will be able to send their articles to readers via the sound of a printer in the future.
There are many ways out of the crisis - for newspapers and magazines, one could be to send articles to their subscribers by the sound of the printer. In other words, by the rustling of the paper. All it takes is a microphone on the editorial printer and the reader has all the investigative articles on the breakfast table. Rising paper, printing and postage costs would no longer be an issue, and the paper would even be accessible to the blind. But it has to be a dot matrix printer. You know: Ihhhhhhhhhht, iiiiiiiiiiht iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiht, ihhhhhhhhhhhhhhhht. Good journalism is simply unmistakable.
German cryptography and computer science professor Michael Backes from Saarland University recently succeeded in reconstructing over 70 percent of printed texts from the sounds of a dot matrix printer. The scientist first had his new eagle print a complete dictionary and recorded the sounds. He then assigned words and sound patterns to each other, which now enables him to automatically recognize texts based on the printing sounds. The eavesdropping process costs next to nothing. Except maybe a few nerves: ewwwwwww, iiiiiiiiiiht iiiiiiiiiiiiiht, ihhhhhhhhhhhhhhhht.
Many banks and doctors' surgeries still work with printers from the pre-flood era, especially when it comes to confidential information such as account or patient data. Critical? Not at all. The news from the Saarland is encouraging: firstly, it gives the Tagi, NZZ, Blick & Co. the chance to cut costs on a grand scale and finally reinstate the old dot matrix printer, which has been leading a dusty existence with the editor-in-chief, as a fully-fledged member of the editorial team. Secondly, so much concentrated innovative power is impressive: the paperless newspaper is finally becoming a reality. And thirdly, it's great that there's someone out there analyzing printer noises - while the global economy is going down the drain and people are being put out of work in droves. We're not doing that badly. That's the proof.
The only question that remains is what readers are missing out on with the undecipherable 30 percent of text messages. Is it the news from the ivory tower? The feature articles? All the filler words? Stock market prices? Or advertising perhaps? Although - certainly not that: advertising in print media no longer exists. In future, printed matter will only be sponsored. From Epson and Sennheiser.
Anne-Friederike Wilhelm
German cryptography and computer science professor Michael Backes from Saarland University recently succeeded in reconstructing over 70 percent of printed texts from the sounds of a dot matrix printer. The scientist first had his new eagle print a complete dictionary and recorded the sounds. He then assigned words and sound patterns to each other, which now enables him to automatically recognize texts based on the printing sounds. The eavesdropping process costs next to nothing. Except maybe a few nerves: ewwwwwww, iiiiiiiiiiht iiiiiiiiiiiiiht, ihhhhhhhhhhhhhhhht.
Many banks and doctors' surgeries still work with printers from the pre-flood era, especially when it comes to confidential information such as account or patient data. Critical? Not at all. The news from the Saarland is encouraging: firstly, it gives the Tagi, NZZ, Blick & Co. the chance to cut costs on a grand scale and finally reinstate the old dot matrix printer, which has been leading a dusty existence with the editor-in-chief, as a fully-fledged member of the editorial team. Secondly, so much concentrated innovative power is impressive: the paperless newspaper is finally becoming a reality. And thirdly, it's great that there's someone out there analyzing printer noises - while the global economy is going down the drain and people are being put out of work in droves. We're not doing that badly. That's the proof.
The only question that remains is what readers are missing out on with the undecipherable 30 percent of text messages. Is it the news from the ivory tower? The feature articles? All the filler words? Stock market prices? Or advertising perhaps? Although - certainly not that: advertising in print media no longer exists. In future, printed matter will only be sponsored. From Epson and Sennheiser.
Anne-Friederike Wilhelm
