Google AdWords: How to guarantee failure - Part 1

In discussions with clients, I am often asked whether I can give a guarantee of success when using Google AdWords. Giving a guarantee about the future performance of a Google AdWords account that does not yet exist is about as reliable as if I were to make a forecast about the number of rainbows that will be visible over the Swiss mountain landscape next year on day X at 2.35 p.m. - in other words, impossible.Nevertheless, the doubts and concerns are justified - especially for small companies. Because without time investment, know-how and support, the complex Google AdWords tool makes it relatively easy to burn a lot of money very quickly and unnecessarily. Every franc invested hurts, especially with a small advertising budget, but if you need a guarantee promise, follow these five rules of failure. Guaranteed failure with Google AdWords!1. flying vacuum cleaners - advertising on Google with something nobody knows aboutHave you invented a flying vacuum cleaner and want to revolutionize the cleaning industry with it? Perfect! Because with this level of unfamiliarity, nobody will enter the keyword "flying vacuum cleaner" in the Google search field. Ergo: The quality factor of your irrelevant keyword "flying vacuum cleaner" is so low that your ad is guaranteed not to be displayed. Of course, you could also use a supposedly highly searched keyword such as "Apple Watch" to draw attention to your website, which then sells flying vacuum cleaners. Maybe this kind of deception will even work once or twice? You'll really annoy both users and Google. Bravo! Step one towards failure has been successful.2. miss the target by simply not setting one"He who wants something great must know how to limit himself, but he who wants everything wants nothing and achieves nothing," said Georg Wilhelm Friedlich Hegel. This also applies to marketing, whether online or offline. So if you want to fail, it's best not to set yourself a goal, or if you do, then set yourself the following: To strive for better results without even knowing the previous results.3. set up an unstructured account and leave it at thatAdWords account or ad optimizations are for fabric softeners. We remain firm, because we want to fail. That's why it's important: once the AdWords account and the corresponding campaigns have been set up in an unstructured way and without a concrete goal, then close your laptop, forget the whole thing and then devote yourself to the more important things in life. A long and heartfelt yoga "Oohhmm" with good vibrations will rock the AdWords account.4. seek external help that promises a lot for very littleIf you want to place the responsibility for your successful failure in external hands, then it is advisable to find someone who promises you a 100% increase in sales within a very short time. Believe your new partner if they guarantee you a tempting offer by promising you that you will increase your ROI by 375% within 1-2 weeks. At the same time, this expert should cost a maximum of €25 per hour. Finally, you can also tell whether you have hit the jackpot if your new AdWords agent not only knows how to use a crystal ball with a lowest price guarantee, but also barely speaks your language and doesn't know the culture of the country in which you are advertising.5. care for a non-functioning URLIf you have inadvertently failed to follow rules 1-4, you now have one more chance to fail: if possible, make sure that the final URL - i.e. the landing page - or preferably your entire website - does not work. This could be due to an "Error, this page not found" message, a very long loading time or a user-unfriendly navigation structure. Just take it easy. If your customer really wants to buy something from you, then they will make the effort to contact you via another channel. Who says that exchanging information with carrier pigeons couldn't be nice?The guarantee of failure does not end here. There are five more tips here "How to guarantee failure - Part 2".