Swisscom does not hit my heart, but sensitively hits my nerve

My theory: We have all learned that continuity is one of the most efficient communication measures. However, our company, Swisscom, has been zigzagging for years, changing logos, agencies and communication channels. And now this banal campaign that is supposed to inspire us consumers with emotions? When happy people carry a rubber heart (which looks more like an ass) bouncing across lush meadows, lakes and mountains, it certainly doesn't trigger any emotions. I'm of the opinion that, apart from the makers, nobody likes these hearty and, for me, unemotional Mickey Mouse stories that aren't stories at all.

Swisscom will not achieve any image optimization with the false statement that it will improve my everyday life because it simply never believes this Lovemarks philosophy. Insanely, Sunrise and Orange are also trying to be responsible for my daily well-being. Readers who grew up without a cell phone will surely remember how miserable our cell phone-less lives were back then. Thanks to the telecommunications providers, we now have a paradise for our hearts on earth.

Swisscom could improve its image if it offered a more customer-friendly and efficient service. I had to wait three weeks for an answer to my inquiry about the identical amount of data that was downloaded 10 times within 10 minutes to my deactivated iPhone (on vacation abroad), which is quite expensive, but the answer was that I was charged correctly for the data download. I had my 8-year-old car phone removed and reinstalled for 500 francs because Swisscom had supplied me with a SIM card with a smaller field instead of the old one, which had been in existence since 2008. The Swisscom store manager claimed that this old SIM card no longer existed, but two days later sent me an existing one. Chaos. And now you have to be bored by the Swisscom commercials before or after the flying red single bricks of SF1. A pure deterioration in the quality of life. For example, why don't they show old Laurel & Hardy sketches sponsored by Swisscom? That would be much funnier.

My stand-up this week was that Peter Marti reads my columns but tells me that the two Cruz birds have not yet been shot down. Sorry Peter.

Theophil Butz, once a star advertiser (quote Ringier), now an inspirer and, as of now, a mothballer. "Not an easy role, but a necessary one, which I perform here every fortnight." Please send any relevant information to [email protected].