You need: The shit detector
Column: "Bullshit theories are only half true—and, in hindsight, never true at all; the trend reported in print is usually yesterday’s trend," says Constantin Seibt.
Column Bullshit theses are only half right
and in retrospect never, the printed trend is usually that of yesterday.
Nevertheless, nothing works without propaganda - but with antidote, if I remember correctly, Mbwana,
It was Hemingway who once wrote: "The best thing a writer can
achieve is a built-in, shock-proof shit-detector." Good style is
less a question of originality; it is essentially the
Avoidance of bad. (How else could the often highly
average good company maintain style?) So how does
man Blabla, embarrassment, nonsense, in short: bullshit?
As always, the most dangerous bullshit is the obvious one: Bullshit,
that is promoted by the system. These are the theses with which editors
readers believe they can hijack. And with which consequently writers editors
bait. They are:
- General theses: Switzerland is getting fat, the world is thoroughly economized,
the men must/want/should be machos/softies/metros/oversexuals
be, etc.
- Death certificate theses: The theater, the story, the SP-CVP-FDP-SVP,
Banking secrecy, the New Economy is finished, out, always has been
dead.
- Messiah theses: Doris Leuthard saves the CVP; shareholder value saves shareholder rights; Mario Corti saves Swissair.
- Mainstream outrage: the managers, the civil servants, the politicians, the SVP
and the women: all a bunch of parasites, losers, scoundrels.
- Anti-mainstream theses: Evil environmental multinational pursues good
Gentech professor; women hinder careers of qualified men;
welfare recipients are the real parasites.
The practical thing about it is that every thesis contains evidence, individual examples,
Statistics attract like flies. You just have to look at the counter-indications,
Omit counter-examples, counter-statistics - and you have a good
researched, factual and opinionated piece of journalism that
has a powerful ally: the waste paper collection service. Woe betide you
Newspapers, news magazines and other magazines with delays
read. Because bullshit theories like the astrologer's are true
Tessier - all kind of half and never in retrospect. Manager of the month
are often the ones fired the following year; the dead are
Zombie movie regularity resumes; trends are better than ever
Trends when they are printed, but trends of yesterday or never.
In short: a lot is fraud. Fraud on the mind. And fraud on the customer.
On the other hand ... At least the customers seem to want the scam:
Editors read and buy, readers buy and read. So why not
happily cucumbering along, Mbwana? The only reason why not, has a
First name and a surname: Yours. With as much spice as possible
Dealing bullshit would be a great thing to do if you wanted to look like a rock star.
would die at thirty. But if you look at the slightly older
colleagues: grown-up family men who "Sämi Schmid is cult"
texts; then the cultivated resignation of the opinion feuilletonists,
which the world does not follow, which they have never seen; often arched
Gentlemen who demand slimming diets, fitness and toughness from others;
the aggressive bitterness of the anti-mainstream guys for whom the world is
does not follow either, because it is not bad enough ...
Journalists seem to age as badly as prostitutes. With whom
would you voluntarily swap your body, mind and face for a new job?
Of course, Mbwana, it would be mischief to stay away from all mischief.
Virgins shouldn't work in brothels - and you shouldn't fish either
Readers and orders with the indication that in this topic prominence,
Scandal, sex, trend, manslaughter, news are in it. Propaganda is necessary;
one should make propaganda; but one should never (never!) give one's own
Believe propaganda. The antidote to bullshit is called research - so
as many voices as possible - and sincerity: keep the theses
bold, your topic sensational, but never (never!) write a sentence,
that you don't believe. This is the best shit detector there is.
So, Mbwana, wade through the muck for life, but keep a clean heart.
and in retrospect never, the printed trend is usually that of yesterday.
Nevertheless, nothing works without propaganda - but with antidote, if I remember correctly, Mbwana,
It was Hemingway who once wrote: "The best thing a writer can
achieve is a built-in, shock-proof shit-detector." Good style is
less a question of originality; it is essentially the
Avoidance of bad. (How else could the often highly
average good company maintain style?) So how does
man Blabla, embarrassment, nonsense, in short: bullshit?
As always, the most dangerous bullshit is the obvious one: Bullshit,
that is promoted by the system. These are the theses with which editors
readers believe they can hijack. And with which consequently writers editors
bait. They are:
- General theses: Switzerland is getting fat, the world is thoroughly economized,
the men must/want/should be machos/softies/metros/oversexuals
be, etc.
- Death certificate theses: The theater, the story, the SP-CVP-FDP-SVP,
Banking secrecy, the New Economy is finished, out, always has been
dead.
- Messiah theses: Doris Leuthard saves the CVP; shareholder value saves shareholder rights; Mario Corti saves Swissair.
- Mainstream outrage: the managers, the civil servants, the politicians, the SVP
and the women: all a bunch of parasites, losers, scoundrels.
- Anti-mainstream theses: Evil environmental multinational pursues good
Gentech professor; women hinder careers of qualified men;
welfare recipients are the real parasites.
The practical thing about it is that every thesis contains evidence, individual examples,
Statistics attract like flies. You just have to look at the counter-indications,
Omit counter-examples, counter-statistics - and you have a good
researched, factual and opinionated piece of journalism that
has a powerful ally: the waste paper collection service. Woe betide you
Newspapers, news magazines and other magazines with delays
read. Because bullshit theories like the astrologer's are true
Tessier - all kind of half and never in retrospect. Manager of the month
are often the ones fired the following year; the dead are
Zombie movie regularity resumes; trends are better than ever
Trends when they are printed, but trends of yesterday or never.
In short: a lot is fraud. Fraud on the mind. And fraud on the customer.
On the other hand ... At least the customers seem to want the scam:
Editors read and buy, readers buy and read. So why not
happily cucumbering along, Mbwana? The only reason why not, has a
First name and a surname: Yours. With as much spice as possible
Dealing bullshit would be a great thing to do if you wanted to look like a rock star.
would die at thirty. But if you look at the slightly older
colleagues: grown-up family men who "Sämi Schmid is cult"
texts; then the cultivated resignation of the opinion feuilletonists,
which the world does not follow, which they have never seen; often arched
Gentlemen who demand slimming diets, fitness and toughness from others;
the aggressive bitterness of the anti-mainstream guys for whom the world is
does not follow either, because it is not bad enough ...
Journalists seem to age as badly as prostitutes. With whom
would you voluntarily swap your body, mind and face for a new job?
Of course, Mbwana, it would be mischief to stay away from all mischief.
Virgins shouldn't work in brothels - and you shouldn't fish either
Readers and orders with the indication that in this topic prominence,
Scandal, sex, trend, manslaughter, news are in it. Propaganda is necessary;
one should make propaganda; but one should never (never!) give one's own
Believe propaganda. The antidote to bullshit is called research - so
as many voices as possible - and sincerity: keep the theses
bold, your topic sensational, but never (never!) write a sentence,
that you don't believe. This is the best shit detector there is.
So, Mbwana, wade through the muck for life, but keep a clean heart.
> Constantin Seibt Columnist and (still) freelance author.
