"We have to question the status quo"

m&k In medicine today, it is becoming increasingly known that many medications work differently in women than in men. And we also know that the menopause affects many women. How are companies responding to these findings?

As Bratby said: Women have always adapted to a world created by men. In addition to office temperatures, which are based on the male metabolism, behavior in the work environment is also shaped by the male model: how to act, which things are better not to talk about. This is currently changing: conversations about women's complaints such as periods or menopause are no longer taboo. Some companies openly regulate how to deal with gender-specific challenges. But all this is just a drop in the ocean, because the basic structures are still made for men.

How do you determine that?

Let's start with the working day, which begins at nine o'clock and lasts into the evening. This assumes that someone else picks the children up from school. Behavior is also judged according to gender: a direct and self-confident manner in a woman is often seen as aggressive, whereas a man shows leadership qualities. Women therefore have to constantly pay attention to how they are perceived, whereas men never do. Then there is the question of competence: men are considered competent until proven otherwise, whereas women have to constantly prove their competence. They therefore have to be twice as good just to be perceived as half as good. Moreover, promotions are usually reserved for those who do not take a career break to look after children or parents in need of care. Leadership presence still means behaving like a man in a suit. What is changing now, however, is that women no longer accept this.

What does the path to this look like?

Instead of asking for permission like they used to, they create their own roles and negotiate conditions that suit their lives. They no longer want to bend themselves to fit into a system that is not made for them.

Let's take the example of salary negotiations - your area of expertise. Is it advisable to demand confidently, like men, or is there a female way?

I don't think that women have to adopt male behavior. On the other hand, they should internalize that negotiations are based on rules. Unlike boys, they don't learn this from an early age. Boys are encouraged early on to say what they want. As a result, they know what their own market value is and demand their desired salary instead of accepting the first offer that comes along. Girls, on the other hand, learn that they should think of others first and create a feel-good atmosphere. But when women start talking about their conditions, they almost double their salaries. Women who don't do this lose hundreds of thousands of euros or francs during their working life. Ultimately, they don't have to take on a different role to negotiate, they have to play the game. The most important rule of the game is: demanding an appropriate salary is not aggressive, but the right thing to do. After all, as employees, they help the employer to move forward and be successful. Women need to grasp this instead of seeing negotiations as a conflict or even a war.

How can companies support women in this?

Companies need to do a better job of promoting women instead of just making more demands on them as they have done in the past. They should invest in women and create transparent salary structures. They need support during their life cycles, such as maternity or menopause. This is also recommended in the current McKinsey report "Women at Work". But far too little has happened so far.

How can employees, female and male alike, change the business world to empower women?

Men could start using their power to promote women. Male bosses and colleagues must ensure that their female counterparts are also paid fairly. They also need to stop putting the brakes on female colleagues by saying things like: "She's not ready yet". Mentoring programs can also contribute to equal opportunities. However, women should not wait to be rescued. It is better to build up your own strategic relationships. Those who make themselves valuable cannot be ignored. Successful women are ultimately those who realize that you can really make a difference if you have influence. This has nothing to do with asking nicely.

"Everything is negotiable - that's a message that boys get from an early age. We have to make up for that with girls."

So women should dare to react angrily when their demands are not heard?

When women react angrily, it is often seen as unprofessional. An angry man, on the other hand, is seen as committed. However, emotions should be viewed soberly as data, as clues to find out what is going wrong. So if a woman is constantly passed over for a promotion or her ideas are stolen by male colleagues, anger is an appropriate reaction. They should not suppress this feeling - but use it as a driving force. One of my clients was prevented from advancing by her boss for years because she was very valuable to him as a worker bee and he didn't want to lose her. She then learned to stop suppressing her frustration about this situation and used her anger energy to connect with higher-ups. The result: she got a really great new position at the company, along with a more than 30 percent raise. This career leap catapulted her to the same level as her former boss. The case shows how dissatisfaction can be used strategically.

"A direct and self-confident demeanor is often seen as aggressive in a woman, whereas a man shows leadership qualities."

What if women could finally live out their full potential - how would companies change?

Studies show that, on average, women tend to have better developed communication skills. In one study, the reactions of babies to human faces were examined: Girls were able to read faces better than boys from around four months of age. They therefore have more alert antennae for interpreting situations and people. This is due to the fact that women were brought up to work together in the Stone Age while men were out hunting buffalo. However, the importance of communication and collaboration has always been downplayed, even though they are strategic leadership skills. Of course, this doesn't mean that all women have bonding communication skills, or that men can't have them. And it definitely doesn't mean that these are the only skills women bring to the table. My female clients include partners at law firms and consulting firms, heads of programs and academic institutions, technology experts and HR managers - they come from all walks of life and hold positions at various levels. They all succeed because they are exceptionally good at everything from technical expertise to strategic thinking and communication skills. Do we need a more emotional and empathetic management culture in the face of artificial intelligence?

When we claim that women are all empathetic leaders, we are once again pigeonholing them. It then also seems as if women are only valuable in companies because of this characteristic. But women have always brought strategic value, technical expertise, innovation and, of course, emotional intelligence. Companies and managers are finally realizing that empathetic leadership leads to better results overall. As artificial intelligence takes on more and more routine tasks these days, the skills that can be considered uniquely human are becoming more important and valuable: reading people, building relationships, navigating complex dynamics between people in the workplace, creating environments we want to work in.

Do women actually want to achieve different things in their professional lives?

They ultimately want the same thing as men: meaningful work that fulfills them, fair pay, respect and career opportunities - like any man, they want to get ahead. The only difference is that we women have been conditioned to apologize for it. When I ask my female clients what they would like, they often follow up their answers with: "Only if it's not too much to ask", or "I know I can't have everything". My answer to this is: "It's not too much to ask to want a position where you can use your talents, which is adequately paid and offers flexibility." Is that what you call having aspirations? Exactly! Nobody needs to apologize for that.

What do women need to learn to feel comfortable in the elbow room?

The goal of feeling comfortable is wrong. In fact, I would say that women need to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. To gain more visibility they have to negotiate for themselves and ask for more in salary negotiations. So far, women leave a lot of money lying around because they feel so uncomfortable negotiating that they don't even try. The tools are clear: know your own market value first. This is not about what you think you should earn, but about what the market actually pays. Most people underestimate how much time and effort it takes to get a really good, solid picture. It is then important to set yourself a maximum and a minimum, as well as a clear negotiation strategy. Many women don't work with a plan because they shy away from negotiations. As a result, they often go into the discussion unprepared and think to themselves: let's see what I can get out of it. They often accept the first offer because they are so grateful that someone has said "yes" to them. That costs them a lot of money. That's why I teach my clients to always negotiate - everything: the basic salary, the participation, the flexibility and the recruitment bonus.

"Many women don't work with a plan because they shy away from negotiations, which costs them a lot of money."

Then women would feel equally valuable?

Negotiating working conditions is the starting point for everything. Many women feel that they simply have to accept whatever the company offers them. I show my clients in their negotiations that there is usually much more in it. So if they want to work from home several times a week, that's possible in most cases. They shouldn't just ask this when they are already working at the company, but negotiate it in advance. The same applies if, for example, they need flexibility to pick up their children from school. They should build this into the role itself, i.e. basically into the design of the job. Everything is negotiable - that's a message that the boys have been given from an early age. We need to catch up on that.

What do women need in the workplace?

Companies must take responsibility. This starts with flexible working arrangements, which are established as standard, and extends to support with childcare and menopausal symptoms - without hindering careers. There are some companies that have such family-friendly policies on paper, but then penalize women for them. For example, if superiors assume that a woman has lost momentum after six months of maternity leave. That often happens. However, a corporate culture that does not want to lose women must offer genuine security and appreciation.

Finally, could you give us your most important tip?

Women should stop playing by rules that slow them down in their growth and instead use all their skills to work on their career. The question every woman should ask herself is: How can I make the most of my education and all the years I have spent in companies? To summarize: Women should work on their careers instead of just working in them. I am confident that the business world will change if enough women refuse to accept less than they are worth.