Der Motz von Butz: Zurich, Zureich, Zuunkreativ

The briefing to our urban planners and builders must have sounded something like this. We are familiar with such specifications, wishes and illusions from advertising. During the presentation, the solution is then praised theoretically, scientifically and highly emotionally as a masterpiece. But the customer still needs space for a circus and a Böög. So the masterpiece has to be tinkered with. What is the result? We are familiar with this from advertising, something that is neither an attraction nor does it bring the desired applause and sales success.

So now I'm standing on this large but almost empty square, on heavy Swiss stone, cut into long, narrow strips and neatly laid out. The way you're supposed to cut Bündnerfleisch. (Butz don't digress!) My theory: the urban planners should show courage and create something for their city that will go around the world as a sensation. The real sensations, built by the townspeople, are all older and no such fuss has been made about them. The opera house itself, St. Peter's Church from the Middle Ages with its clock face (still the largest in Europe), the Stadelhofen train station by Calatrava, Corbusier's pavilion on the lake and, finally, the latest achievement, a high-rise building, the Prime Tower.

Many projects and ideas have been talked out of existence by the city. The double football/ice field hockey stadium, the congress center - should have been built across General Guisan-Quai to the lakeshore long ago. Have you ever looked at the exhibition center in Basel by Herzog & de Meuron? Not bad. The disaster of the Bahnhofstrasse Christmas lighting with the icicles reminds me of the renovation of the Sechseläutenwiese. That doesn't warm my heart either. The promised trees and water features won't change the situation either. Perhaps the harbor crane on the square would even be an improvement.

I would have built a contemporary counterpart on the Bellevue side opposite the opera house, then we would at least have symmetry, which is the key to all famous and worthwhile places. A tour of Paris will confirm this. Here in Zurich, two parking garage exits with a café and an exterior façade that is supposed to be trendy have been planted on the square. In my opinion, it's all gone down the drain. This oval advertising pillar for the opera house is also a joke. As we all know, plans on paper are nothing like reality.

We know all this from advertising, which thankfully is now in the famous January slump. But don't worry, I'm sure I'll find more material for the next rant about advertising. Here's a little foretaste: a nose and a mouth in front of it climb up a flight of stairs, moaning. The nose gets blocked. Incidentally, the nasal spray is called Otrivin, a medicine. Ask your doctor or pharmacist...

My pick of the week is that the Goethe Bar next to the opera house serves fresh, crunchy radishes with sea salt as an aperitif, rather than silly nuts.

Theophil Butz, graphic designer, advertising agency owner, inspirer and, for over three years, also a mocker for Werbewoche readers. Please send any relevant information to [email protected]