Hot as vodka, dumb as bread

In good times, when evening passed the regimental baton to night, I sat in front of Reich- Ranicki's "Literary Quartet." You know, "And so we see affected / The curtain closed and all questions open." Those days are over. Not only because the bibliophile book round has lost its bite since Ranicki's departure, but - Ranicki rest in peace - because today I watch the "Bachelor." Not because of lowered intellectual standards, which mommies like to be accused of: dada, gaga, lala. On the contrary. The current Bachelor, Vujo Gavric, is at least as literary as the old Pole and a little better built than Ranicki. One of the star moments of the high Bachelor muse, for example, is Vujo's "I've come up with something romantic, and it's a super-beautiful sunset." This is not totally plemplem, but pure blue flower, the zenith of romanticism. If this had occurred to Goethe's Werther, he and Lotte might have had a less tragic ending. But it didn't occur to HIM, we had to wait for Vujo first. The footballer's statement also testifies to his pronounced brain and heart formation: "In the Jacuzzi, without bathing suits, lots of foam and a little champagne, that's very intimate. You can really talk to each other better there." Yes, if Effi Briest had had a Jacuzzi ...

And to all those who don't (recognize) the bachelor's enchanting aphorisms: You're just jealous - or has your beloved ever organized his own sunset for you? Or told you that he was created to love [you]? Exactly!

Vujo is Voodoo

The fact that 20 Minuten compiles the most stupid quotes of this ingeniously clever bachelor (Vujo's "bachelor" is NOT a university degree!) proves that the editorial colleagues of the quality paper once again didn't get it. Vujo is clearly a misunderstood genius. But luckily he has 20 true "ladies" around him who recognize exactly how stunning the Zurich native is. "You're as hot as vodka!" found candidate Olga, for example. That is finely observed. And precisely formulated.

Fortunately, the smart rose cavalier has surrounded himself with a number of denta lassistes. So after the Bachelor season, he can have his chosen one renovate his gruesome T-Rex carcass. But that's just a side note. Ranicki's teeth weren't pretty either. What matters is what comes out from between the teeth - no, I don't mean the tongue, but the evidence of the highest mental activity.

Blade cavity

"As you call [...] in, so it resounds out," says the popular saying. Actually, "into the forest," but this is especially true for hollow spaces. So Vujo is the optimal projection surface for literary wisdom and the whole wealth of the melodious, a second, even better Ranicki. Because it really doesn't get any more hollow than that.

Perhaps the literary imprint of "The Bachelor" would simply have to be elaborated a bit more in the next season, so that it would also be accessible to simpler minds, so that 20 Minutes would also catch how ingenious the format and its protagonists are. How about, for example, a snappy closing sentence a la Reich-Ranicki or Bertold Brecht: "Have now met 20 ladies / Close the curtain and they're all drunk."