In the age of Internet, millions of phone books are still distributed

My grandmother had phone book pages cut up, perforated and attached to the wall with a string in the toilet in the stairwell to use as toilet paper. This would still be the only proper use of these books today.

What is at stake here: There are 24 telephone directories, numbered from 1 to 25. No. 19 does not exist. Each of these 24 books contains about 500 000 entries on 1000 pages with 500 entries each. According to Swisscom, 80 percent of those registered use such a book. 80 percent of half a million is 400,000. These users, multiplied by 24 books, make 9.6 million users.

If we calculate that Lausanne's book No. 2 is less thick and subtract 20 percent, we're still left with 7.68 million. If we assume that I got two books for two page entries and my wife got one book without a book entry, and that larger companies need more than one book per entry, then I add something else. So let's say 8 million books. On average, a book is 2 cm thick and A4 in size. So one book measures about 1250 cm3. Multiplied by 8 million, that's 10,000 m3. That's a 10×10 m and 100 m high tower. My Zurich book weighs 1.35 kg. In order not to get nasty statistician letters from readers, I go to 1 kg per book, times 8 million = 8000 t of paper or wood. To further visualize this environmental nonsense, that's exactly 200 forty-ton trucks, each 20 meters long, one behind the other, making a column of 4 km. My theory: I assume that you, dear reader at home or in the office, also have such a 1000-page book. But honestly, when was the last time you used it? First of all, we have all our important numbers stored in our cell phone or on our computer, or we can find out these unknowns via Local.ch or other connect services. For this purpose, almost nobody uses this cumbersome and heavy phone book anymore. The company Local.ch of Swisscom Directories AG offers on page 3 in the book for attentive readers a cancellation possibility. Just as the book is never used, this talon is also forgotten. And already you have paid 12 francs plus a delivery fee of 2.90 francs per book.

I suggest that Swisscom launch an environmental protection campaign and ask subscribers via TV commercial, letter or e-mail to cancel this environmental nonsense immediately. This would only do Swisscom's image good. I am also convinced that next year only 20 percent will still need a telephone book. If at all. My pick: In the US Golf Masters, Bubba Watson ingeniously hit the ball blindly out of the woods onto the green in the play-off and received the green jacket for it.

Theophil Butz, once a star advertiser (Ringier), now an inspirer and, as of now, a mothballer. "Not an easy role, but a necessary one, which I perform here every fortnight." Please send any relevant information to [email protected].