Google AdWords: How to guarantee failure - Part 2

In the article "Google Adwords: How to guarantee failure - Part 1" we outwitted Google with flying vacuum cleaners, set ourselves no goals and learned how to sabotage the landing page so that no customer would find the website. The next five tips will help you take failure to master level.6. never define a specific target groupTarget group definition was yesterday. Today, this is completely overrated. Especially if you want to be successful with Google AdWords or marketing in general - but we don't. So don't do it! Just try it out. Include languages such as Mandarin or Swahili in the language settings, even if your target market - if you have defined one - is German-speaking Switzerland. But I wouldn't limit it geographically either. Perhaps an Indonesian masseur in Bali would like to order your Swiss bread knife from your online store. Could be...7. start with a 1-franc budgetYes, I know. Marketing and advertising always costs so much money. But since we want failure and do everything we can to massively limit the search result potential of our AdWords ads (or make it zero chance potential): Just put a single symbolic franc amount on your campaigns. Firstly, you have hardly wasted any click money, and secondly, you save yourself the trouble of setting up Google Analytics for the purpose of data measurement. After all, setting up data measurement also takes time. And time is money! This brings us straight to tip 8. 8. data measurement? Pure waste of time!Who wants to measure data? After all, performance controlling doesn't belong in the marketing department, but in the finance department, or in the HR department, or in facility management. It's none of our business as marketers. I have long believed that figures and statistics have no place in marketing training.9. google yourself - as often as possibleOnce the AdWords account has been set up, you may be bored in the office. Or maybe you have too much money in your company's coffers or both. This must and can be changed. Here's my secret tip: Google yourself. And what you shouldn't forget under any circumstances: click on your own AdWords ads. This not only eats away at your own 1-franc click budget (see rule of failure 7), but also distorts the results. Well done! Now there's just the last rule to follow for the AdWords Super-Gau. Drum roll...10. Blame Google for everythingSeriously, Google means you no harm. Or do you see it differently? If you haven't actually followed rules 1-9 and have done everything right up to this point and still haven't achieved any conversions, then there's only one thing left for the ultimate Google AdWords failure: throw everything away and blame Google for everything - including the much-discussed global warming: evil Google!